John spoke about his wife, Robbin, for whom he became her caregiver.  “Robin used to completely run the house.  All I did was work.”

If living together, you are more likely to pick up after someone. You see a gap and go for it. You might automatically add another item to your to do list.  You may think I can do a better job at this and maybe with the subtext, with fewer mistakes.  It may be as small as closing cabinet doors in the kitchen or replacing the cap on the toothpaste.  It may be complex, like paying bills, budgeting, or planning vacations.

Families establish their own division of labor by desire or necessity, by custom or cultural expectation and then something may happen to change that.

D. Michael Geller